Swimming With The Tide

Everybody had been present at the project meeting. It was a usual affair, except that the new contractor had shown a lot of initiative, made lots of suggestions, but they had all been vetoed down.

Personally, Daniel thought some of his suggestions were workable, but perhaps the management thought they rocked the boat too much.

The contractor caught up with him as he came out of the building to buy himself some lunch.

"So what did you think of what happened today?" asked the contractor.

"Some good suggestions," Daniel answered, "and good on you for making them. Keep up this initiative, this thinking outside the square and you will soon become an asset to the company."

"I'll never be an asset to this company," the contractor muttered.

"Why's that?"Daniel asked as they crossed the road.

"Because the shop-floor staff here play football. Mid-level managers are more interested in tennis. And the top management here has a distinct preference for golf."

Daniel looked at the contractor, completely baffled. He didn't know what he was talking about. What did sport preferences of staff and management have to do with their company or with anything else, he wondered.

The contractor noticed Daniel's puzzlement. He liked Daniel. This guy was a hard worker and a hard taskmaster, but he was also a straight shooter and played fair.

He was also quite smart, and the fact that he expected high standards from others that he worked with, actually inspired people like the contractor.

"As you go up the corporate ladder here," he explained, "the balls reduce in size."

Daniel laughed at his clever turn of the phrase. He had been given a lot of flak, and it was only natural that he gives some of it back. Daniel didn't mind because he didn't take it personally.

"Be patient," Daniel replied, as he paid for his takeaway, "Good things come to those who wait."

"Looks like I'll be retired," the contractor retorted, as he paid for his lunch, "before they listen to me here."

"Creativity and courage are great assets," said Daniel, as they started walking back towards their office, "but for success and longevity, you also need empathy and prudence."

"Change can be costly for an enterprise. The speed of change can also kill an organization. More important than Return on Money in Business and Investment is the Return of Money."

"Management has to be careful that they do not act or expand in a way that could adversely impact their own livelihood and the livelihood of their other employees. Profit is the reason a business exits, but cash bottlenecks have killed many a profitable business."

"You have thought as an entrepreneur. They were thinking as a manager. Perhaps, they will find your ideas and suggestions more useful if you heard what they want first and then channelized your creativity into suggesting solutions to the problems they already have."

"A manager and a couple of his staff were on their way to buy their lunch at the local takeaway. They saw an old lamp lying on the side of a road."

"One of the employees picked it up and rubbed it jokingly, as if it were Aladdin's Magic Lamp. But it was indeed a wonder lamp."

"Puff", and a genie emerged out of it. He said he was very grateful for his release from the lamp. An evil magician had imprisoned him there."

"I'll grant you guys a wish each now, before I go," he said to show them his gratitude, "So long as it is reasonable, you can have anything you want. So tell me, what would you like?"

"I've never heard a Jinn put a reason ability condition on wishes before granting them!" the contractor laughed.

"There's always a first time," Daniel jested, "Besides, the world is getting unreasonable. You've got to have checks and balances in place to manage your risk and exposure."

"Must have been a manager d jinn!" the contractor gagged, "Would wishing for three wishes be an unreasonable wish?"

"I guess," agreed Daniel, "Anyway, the first employee said he wanted to be cruising in Mauritius on his own speed boat and have no worries. There you go, that's a three-in-one wish."

"Puff", and he was gone, cruising in Mauritius on his own speedboat and without any worries."

The other employee said, "I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of grub and booze."

"Puff", and he was gone too, into Florida to enjoy beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails.

The manager thought for a minute, and said calmly, "I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch".

The contractor laughed boisterously.

"So," he asked, "always allow the boss to speak first?"

Daniel nodded and winked at the contractor, taking his first bite as he sat down on the grass to eat his lunch. The afternoon was sunny, his kebabs looked tempting, and his trainee's progress was promising. What more could a man ask for?

"You'll make swift progress," he offered, "if you can learn to swim with the tide. Don't worry, be happy."

The Air Up There

John was training a new casual contractor that his firm had employed.

He usually gave his subordinates and trainees independence and discretion to get the work done in a manner they decided was best, once the targets, budgets and timelines had been discussed and work delegated.

But sometimes, like with this new person, he had to intervene more than usual.

He had received complaints that the new person had been taking overly long lunch, tea and smoking breaks.

Even when he worked, he seemed more interested in social conversations with colleagues and passing time rather than in getting things done.

This was beginning to impact on the group dynamic, besides delay the project due to bottlenecks his habits were starting to create.

John discussed the issues with him and things improved for a while, but then he settled back into his old routines. "Get him to play fair," the director said to John, "or get rid of him."

"I work harder," the contractor retorted when confronted, "harder than some of these full-timers here. I deserve my longer breaks. They over load me, then try and lord me over. It's not my fault my tasks aren't finished in time?"

"An eagle was sitting on a tree resting," answered John, remembering an old online joke he'd read, "doing nothing. A little rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

"Sure, why not," shrugged the eagle.

"So the rabbit sat around too," John continued, "and rested. But all of a sudden, a fox appeared. He pounced on the rabbit and gobbled it up. Comprehend?"

"No comprehend," uttered the baffled contractor, "What's it got to do with me?"

"Even if you work as hard as everyone else buddy," said John, "being high up has its privileges."

"The air up there is different. To be sitting and doing nothing, you need to be sitting very, very high up."

"So let's get cracking before the foxes arrive, shall we?"

Exciting Period

Emmy talks about the run on Northern Bank and the period leading up to GFC. But Mary jokes about why Little Johnny thinks a period is so exciting.

Emmy sat reading the stock market analysis in his bed when Mary came in.

"Anything exciting?" she asked, as she got in bed.

"Yeah," said Emmy, "Northern Rock has had the first run on a British bank in more than a century. Its price has crashed."

"On 17 Sep 2007, Chancellor Alistair Darling dramatically intervened to try and end this crisis by agreeing to guarantee all deposits held by Northern Rock."

"He said savers will not lose a penny and that his action was motivated by the "importance I place on maintaining a stable banking system".

"Should be an exciting period ahead if one were to buy its shares now, as Prime Minister Gordon Brown has also just implied that he won't let it fail."

"European Central Bank and US Fed have already pumped in huge amounts of cash in the market to boost liquidity, and Mervin

King might just have to take a U-turn on his "No pumping" stance. What about your day?"

"Oh nothing as exciting as a run on a bank," she answered, "pumping central bankers or jumping share markets. All is quiet on the home front. But I did hear a joke about another kind of exciting period today."

Emmy put away his laptop and looked at her.

"Called Little Johnny's Assignment," she began, "it tells of a kindergarten teacher who had given a homework assignment to her kids."

They were to share with the class anything exciting they found the day before. Now little Johnny had been building up a reputation to be a little crude. So, when the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher called them one at a time."

"She had been reluctant to call upon Johnny, but eventually his turn came."

"He walked slowly up to the blackboard, picked up a piece of chalk, and made a small dot on the blackboard. Then he slowly walked back and sat back down."

"As nobody could fathom what he was on about and he hadn't uttered a word, a frustrated expectation built up in the class. When the teacher couldn't bear it any longer, she asked him to explain himself."

"It's a period," said Johnny, unusually restrained.

"Well I can see that!" she said, "But what is so exciting about a period?"

"Damned if I know," said Johnny, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself."