Why Dead People are Buried

In the beginning of the world when the Creator had made men and women and the animals, they all lived together in the creation land. The Creator was a big chief, past all men, and being very kind-hearted, was very sorry whenever any one died. So one day he sent for the dog, who was his head messenger, and told him to go out into the world and give his word to all people that for the future whenever any one died the body was to be placed in the compound, and wood ashes were to be thrown over it; that the dead body was to be left on the ground, and in twenty-four hours it would become alive again.
When the dog had traveled for half a day he began to get tired; so as he was near an old woman's house he looked in, and seeing a bone with some meat on it he made a meal off it, and then went to sleep, entirely forgetting the message which had been given him to deliver.
After a time, when the dog did not return, the Creator called for a sheep, and sent him out with the same message. But the sheep was a very foolish one, and being hungry, began eating the sweet grasses by the wayside. After a time, however, he remembered that he had a message to deliver, but forgot what it was exactly; so as he went about among the people he told them that the message the Creator had given him to tell the people, was that whenever any one died they should be buried underneath the ground.
A little time afterwards the dog remembered his message, so he ran into the town and told the people that they were to place wood ashes on the dead bodies and leave them in the compound, and that they would come to life again after twenty-four hours. But the people would not believe him, and said, "We have already received the word from the Creator by the sheep, that all dead bodies should be buried." In consequence of this the dead bodies are now always buried, and the dog is much disliked and not trusted as a messenger, as if he had not found the bone in the old woman's house and forgotten his message, the dead people might still be alive.

The Considerate Husband

‘The Considerate Husband’ is an effort to understand the female mind!
Funny story on how the final 3 wishes of a dying man were interpreted by his loving wife...

 Women fool men," Paul teased, "and when they are not fooling them, they are fooling around with them."
"Women don't need to make fools out of men," Mary

retorted laughingly. "Most men are the do-it-yourself types."
"Is that what women think?" he asked. "That empathy is foolishness. Kindness is lost upon an ungrateful soul."
“Not true,” she fought back. "Women appreciate kindness, and they know how to show their gratitude."
"How?" he asked.
"Well," she replied. "I recently read of a widow telling her friends what a wonderful, empathetic, and considerate husband her man had been."
"He thought of everything," the widow told her friends. "Just before he died, he called me to his bedside, and handed me a sealed envelope."
"Love," he said. "It contains a Memorandum of my last three wishes. Promise me, that after I am gone, you will open it and do exactly as I have instructed. Then, I can go in peace."
"So I promised," she said. "And he found peace. God bless his thoughtful soul."
"What were his last wishes?" her friends asked.
"The first was: Buy a nice coffin," she replied. "So I bought the most expensive casket I could find. Lovely look. Luxurious lining. Smart style. He would have liked that, wouldn't he?"
"The second was: Buy a nice funeral. So I bought the most expensive service I could find. With all his favorite foods for everyone attending. He would have loved that, wouldn't he?"
"And the third wish?" asked her friends.
"The third was: Buy a nice stone. So I bought the most expensive stone, the rest of his money could buy."
She flashed her breathtaking diamond at her friends, and said, "He would have been proud of that, wouldn't he?"

The Disobedient Daughter who Married a Skull

Effiong Edem was a native of Cobham Town. He had a very fine daughter, whose name was Afiong. All the young men in the country wanted to marry her on account of her beauty; but she refused all offers of marriage in spite of repeated entreaties from her parents, as she was very vain, and said she would only marry the best-looking man in the country, who would have to be young and strong, and capable of loving her properly. Most of the men her parents wanted her to marry, although they were rich, were old men and ugly, so the girl continued to disobey her parents, at which they were very much grieved. The skull who lived in the spirit land heard of the beauty of this Calabar virgin, and thought he would like to possess her; so he went about amongst his friends and borrowed different parts of the body from them, all of the best. From one he got a good head, another lent him a body, a third gave him strong arms, and a fourth lent him a fine pair of legs. At last he was complete, and was a very perfect specimen of manhood.
He then left the spirit land and went to Cobham market, where he saw Afiong, and admired her very much.
About this time Afiong heard that a very fine man had been seen in the market, who was better-looking than any of the natives. She therefore went to the market at once, and directly she saw the Skull in his borrowed beauty, she fell in love with him, and invited him to her house. The Skull was delighted, and went home with her, and on his arrival was introduced by the girl to her parents, and immediately asked their consent to marry their daughter. At first they refused, as they did not wish her to marry a stranger, but at last they agreed.
He lived with Afiong for two days in her parents' house, and then said he wished to take his wife back to his country, which was far off. To this the girl readily agreed, as he was such a fine man, but her parents tried to persuade her not to go. However, being very headstrong, she made up her mind to go, and they started off together. After they had been gone a few days the father consulted his Ju Ju man, who by casting lots very soon discovered that his daughter's husband belonged to the spirit land, and that she would surely be killed. They therefore all mourned her as dead.
After walking for several days, Afiong and the Skull crossed the border between the spirit land and the human country. Directly they set foot in the spirit land, first of all one man came to the Skull and demanded his legs, then another his head, and the next his body, and so on, until in a few minutes the skull was left by itself in all its natural ugliness. At this the girl was very frightened, and wanted to return home, but the skull would not allow this, and ordered her to go with him. When they arrived at the skull's house they found his mother, who was a very old woman quite incapable of doing any work, who could only creep about. Afiong tried her best to help her, and cooked her food, and brought water and firewood for the old woman. The old creature was very grateful for these attentions, and soon became quite fond of Afiong.
One day the old woman told Afiong that she was very sorry for her, but all the people in the spirit land were cannibals, and when they heard there was a human being in their country, they would come down and kill her and eat her. The skull's mother then hid Afiong, and as she had looked after her so well, she promised she would send her back to her country as soon as possible, providing that she promised for the future to obey her parents. This Afiong readily consented to do. Then the old woman sent for the spider, who was a very clever hairdresser, and made him dress Afiong's hair in the latest fashion. She also presented her with anklets and other things on account of her kindness. She then made a Ju Ju and called the winds to come and convey Afiong to her home. At first a violent tornado came, with thunder, lightning and rain, but the skull's mother sent him away as unsuitable. The next wind to come was a gentle breeze, so she told the breeze to carry Afiong to her mother's house, and said good-bye to her. Very soon afterwards the breeze deposited Afiong outside her home, and left her there.
When the parents saw their daughter they were very glad, as they had for some months given her up as lost. The father spread soft animals' skins on the ground from where his daughter was standing all the way to the house, so that her feet should not be soiled. Afiong then walked to the house, and her father called all the young girls who belonged to Afiong's company to come and dance, and the feasting and dancing was kept up for eight days and nights. When the rejoicing was over, the father reported what had happened to the head chief of the town. The chief then passed a law that parents should never allow their daughters to marry strangers who came from a far country. Then the father told his daughter to marry a friend of his, and she willingly consented, and lived with him for many years, and had many children.

Fruits Of My Labor

Shouldn’t I benefit from fruits of my labor?

Employee engagement is driven by purpose, recognition & monetary incentives.
Insightful tale on worker demotivate

 What really happened at the pay review meeting?” Rose asked, resting her head on his back. She had followed him out onto their porch. “Who was present?”
“My Supervisor and the HR (Human Resources) Manager,” Matthew answered quietly, thirstily drinking up the brilliant hues scattered in the evening sky by the dying sun.
The sunset was beautiful today, but somehow the contentment it usually brought him had been robbed by someone today.
“The supervisor is insecure himself,” he continued, “so he did not push my raise. The HR Manager is either blind to the quality of my work, or believes he can get people like me at a dime a dozen these days. Either way, it was clear that there was nothing more on the table.”
“But what really irked me was his attitude. He sat across from me cross-legged, and with his shoe in my face. There was no mistaking the body language, but maybe I’m reading something that didn’t exist because I am weak and broken inside myself. So, every slur appears like the final insult.”
“I have never had someone sit like that with me. I went asking for my due, not curry for his favors. Did he think we were beggars? It is the work people like us do on the ground, that pays his bloody wages.”
He was simmering inside. She waited for his anger to subside. She knew his reason will win, eventually.
“When he had gone,” Mathew sighed after a long pause, “I vented my spleen at my supervisor. The only saving grace was that he didn’t disagree once, with anything I said. Pathetic!”
“Did he say nothing at all?” she asked him.
“He tried to pacify me,” he answered, “after I had finished. By giving his own example. After years of committed service, he said he had still not been promoted.
No transfer to greener pastures, no salary increase, no commendation. Didn’t see the Company doing much for him in the future either.”
“As if I should take solace from his suffering, and resign myself to bearing my burdens because he bears his. The soulless exploiting the spineless, and the spineless conditioning the hapless.”
Rose felt a sudden rush of blood to her head. She was instantly afraid. For him, for them. Had he resigned again today?
“I hope you didn’t do anything stupid,” she asked, almost fearfully. “I hope you weren’t rude to him?”
“It was really hard for me not to,” Mathew hissed. “I hated his fear, his placation, his spinelessness.”
“No, I wasn’t rude to him. But I did tell him a story. I hope he got the message.”
“What story?” she asked again.
“Of a man like him,” said Mathew, “who goes to HR looking for a fairer deal after years of stagnation, and gets mentally screwed again.”
The HR guy sits him down, and asks: Tell me, how many days are there in a year?
Employee: 365, but 366 in a leap year.
HR Manager: And how many hours make up a day?
Employee: 24 hours.
HR Manager: And how long do you work in a day?
Employee: 8am to 5pm. 8 hours a day, not including an hour for lunch and tea-breaks.
HR Manager: So, what fraction of your day do you spend working?
Employee: 8/24 hours. So, a third of the day.
HR Manager: OK, so if a year has 366 days, what is one third of 366 days?
Employee: 122 days.
HR Manager: Do you come to work on weekends?
Employee: No
HR Manager: How many days in a year are weekend days?
Employee: 52 Saturdays, 52 Sundays. Total 104 days
HR Manager: You’re good at math. So, take away 104 days from 122 days. How many days do you have now?
Employee: 18 days
HR Manager: You also get a week's sick leave every year. Remove those 7 days too, from the 18 left. How many days are you left with now?
Employee: 11 days
HR Manager: Correct! But do you come to work on New Year’s day?
Employee: No!
HR Manager: Do you come to work on Labour Day?
Employee: No!
HR Manager: Do you come to work on Queen’s Birthday?
Employee: No!
HR Manager: On Good Friday? Easter Monday? Christmas day? Boxing Day? Auckland Anniversary Day?
Employee: No!
HR Manager: How many days are those?
Employee: 8 days!
HR Manager: So how many days are left?
Employee: 3 days!
HR Manager: You work 3 days a year out of 366, and you want a raise? We are not a charity, you know!
Employee: Geez! I hadn’t realized the company had been so generous to me all these years!
“Die for them,” Mathew

concluded, and turned back to go inside the home, “and they think it is their due. Your exemplar raises the benchmark for everyone else. And you are expected to do it again. And again.”
“Ask for a raise, for all the exemplary work they say you do, and you are now being unreasonable. These are lean times, and they’ve got to look after all their flock. And the flock includes old-timers, under-performers, non-performers, coat-tail riders.”
“I get nothing extra for going the extra mile, but I’ll get pounced on if I don’t meet the ever-rising benchmarks. Yet, I do want to perform, and not just because I'll never get a decent wage without performing."
"If I am the creme-de-la-creme in the company, as they tell me when they want me to do more work, and I am delivering quality, creating significant value, then shouldn’t I be benefiting too from the fruits of my labor. I am not a work of charity, you know.”
“I add value and I am told, I should be grateful I have a job,’’ he shook his head in despair. “When you settle for less than what you deserve, you end up getting even less than what you had initially settled for.”

The Woman with Two Skins

Eyamba I. of Calabar was a very powerful king. He fought and conquered all the surrounding countries, killing all the old men and women, but the able-bodied men and girls he caught and brought back as slaves, and they worked on the farms until they died.
This king had two hundred wives, but none of them had borne a son to him. His subjects, seeing that he was becoming an old man, begged him to marry one of the spider's daughters, as they always had plenty of children. But when the king saw the spider's daughter he did not like her, as she was ugly, and the people said it was because her mother had had so many children at the same time. However, in order to please his people he married the ugly girl, and placed her among his other wives, but they all complained because she was so ugly, and said she could not live with them. The king, therefore, built her a separate house for herself, where she was given food and drink the same as the other wives. Every one jeered at her on account of her ugliness; but she was not really ugly, but beautiful, as she was born with two skins, and at her birth her mother was made to promise that she should never remove the ugly skin until a certain time arrived save only during the night, and that she must put it on again before dawn. Now the king's head wife knew this, and was very fearful lest the king should find it out and fall in love with the spider's daughter; so she went to a Ju Ju man and offered him two hundred rods to make a potion that would make the king forget altogether that the spider's daughter was his wife. This the Ju Ju man finally consented to do, after much haggling over the price, for three hundred and fifty rods; and he made up some "medicine," which the head wife mixed with the king's food. For some months this had the effect of making the king forget the spider's daughter, and he used to pass quite close to her without recognising her in any way. When four months had elapsed and the king had not once sent for Adiaha (for that was the name of the spider's daughter), she began to get tired, and went back to her parents. Her father, the spider, then took her to another Ju Ju man, who, by making spells and casting lots, very soon discovered that it was the king's head wife who had made the Ju Ju and had enchanted the king so that he would not look at Adiaha. He therefore told the spider that Adiaha should give the king some medicine which he would prepare, which would make the king remember her. He prepared the medicine, for which the spider had to pay a large sum of money; and that very day Adiaha made a small dish of food, into which she had placed the medicine, and presented it to the king. Directly he had eaten the dish his eyes were opened and he recognised his wife, and told her to come to him that very evening. So in the afternoon, being very joyful, she went down to the river and washed, and when she returned she put on her best cloth and went to the king's palace.
Directly it was dark and all the lights were out she pulled off her ugly skin, and the king saw how beautiful she was, and was very pleased with her; but when the cock crowed Adiaha pulled on her ugly skin again, and went back to her own house.
This she did for four nights running, always taking the ugly skin off in the dark, and leaving before daylight in the morning. In course of time, to the great surprise of all the people, and particularly of the king's two hundred wives, she gave birth to a son; but what surprised them most of all was that only one son was born, whereas her mother had always had a great many children at a time, generally about fifty.
The king's head wife became more jealous than ever when Adiaha had a son; so she went again to the Ju Ju man, and by giving him a large present induced him to give her some medicine which would make the king sick and forget his son. And the medicine would then make the king go to the Ju Ju man, who would tell him that it was his son who had made him sick, as he wanted to reign instead of his father. The Ju Ju man would also tell the king that if he wanted to recover he must throw his son away into the water.
And the king, when he had taken the medicine, went to the Ju Ju man, who told him everything as had been arranged with the head wife. But at first the king did not want to destroy his son. Then his chief subjects begged him to throw his son away, and said that perhaps in a year's time he might get another son. So the king at last agreed, and threw his son into the river, at which the mother grieved and cried bitterly.
Then the head wife went again to the Ju Ju man and got more medicine, which made the king forget Adiaha for three years, during which time she was in mourning for her son. She then returned to her father, and he got some more medicine from his Ju Ju man, which Adiaha gave to the king. And the king knew her and called her to him again, and she lived with him as before. Now the Ju Ju who had helped Adiaha's father, the spider, was a Water Ju Ju, and he was ready when the king threw his son into the water, and saved his life and took him home and kept him alive. And the boy grew up very strong.
After a time Adiaha gave birth to a daughter, and her the jealous wife also persuaded the king to throw away. It took a longer time to persuade him, but at last he agreed, and threw his daughter into the water too, and forgot Adiaha again. But the Water Ju Ju was ready again, and when he had saved the little girl, he thought the time had arrived to punish the action of the jealous wife; so he went about amongst the head young men and persuaded them to hold a wrestling match in the market-place every week. This was done, and the Water Ju Ju told the king's son, who had become very strong, and was very like to his father in appearance, that he should go and wrestle, and that no one would be able to stand up before him. It was then arranged that there should be a grand wrestling match, to which all the strongest men in the country were invited, and the king promised to attend with his head wife.
On the day of the match the Water Ju Ju told the king's son that he need not be in the least afraid, and that his Ju Ju was so powerful, that even the strongest and best wrestlers in the country would not be able to stand up against him for even a few minutes. All the people of the country came to see the great contest, to the winner of which the king had promised to present prizes of cloth and money, and all the strongest men came. When they saw the king's son, whom nobody knew, they laughed and said, "Who is this small boy? He can have no chance against us." But when they came to wrestle, they very soon found that they were no match for him. The boy was very strong indeed, beautifully made and good to look upon, and all the people were surprised to see how like he was to the king.
After wrestling for the greater part of the day the king's son was declared the winner, having thrown every one who had stood up against him; in fact, some of his opponents had been badly hurt, and had their arms or ribs broken owing to the tremendous strength of the boy. After the match was over the king presented him with cloth and money, and invited him to dine with him in the evening. The boy gladly accepted his father's invitation; and after he had had a good wash in the river, put on his cloth and went up to the palace, where he found the head chiefs of the country and some of the king's most favoured wives. They then sat down to their meal, and the king had his own son, whom he did not know, sitting next to him. On the other side of the boy sat the jealous wife, who had been the cause of all the trouble. All through the dinner this woman did her best to make friends with the boy, with whom she had fallen violently in love on account of his beautiful appearance, his strength, and his being the best wrestler in the country. The woman thought to herself, "I will have this boy as my husband, as my husband is now an old man and will surely soon die." The boy, however, who was as wise as he was strong, was quite aware of everything the jealous woman had done, and although he pretended to be very flattered at the advances of the king's head wife, he did not respond very readily, and went home as soon as he could.
When he returned to the Water Ju Ju's house he told him everything that had happened, and the Water Ju Ju said—
"As you are now in high favour with the king, you must go to him to-morrow and beg a favour from him. The favour you will ask is that all the country shall be called together, and that a certain case shall be tried, and that when the case is finished, the man or woman who is found to be in the wrong shall be killed by the Egbos before all the people."
So the following morning the boy went to the king, who readily granted his request, and at once sent all round the country appointing a day for all the people to come in and hear the case tried. Then the boy went back to the Water Ju Ju, who told him to go to his mother and tell her who he was, and that when the day of the trial arrived, she was to take off her ugly skin and appear in all her beauty, for the time had come when she need no longer wear it. This the son did.
When the day of trial arrived, Adiaha sat in a corner of the square, and nobody recognised the beautiful stranger as the spider's daughter. Her son then sat down next to her, and brought his sister with him. Immediately his mother saw her she said—
"This must be my daughter, whom I have long mourned as dead," and embraced her most affectionately.
The king and his head wife then arrived and sat on their stones in the middle of the square, all the people saluting them with the usual greetings. The king then addressed the people, and said that he had called them together to hear a strong palaver at the request of the young man who had been the victor of the wrestling, and who had promised that if the case went against him he would offer up his life to the Egbo. The king also said that if, on the other hand, the case was decided in the boy's favour, then the other party would be killed, even though it were himself or one of his wives; whoever it was would have to take his or her place on the killing-stone and have their heads cut off by the Egbos. To this all the people agreed, and said they would like to hear what the young man had to say. The young man then walked round the square, and bowed to the king and the people, and asked the question, "Am I not worthy to be the son of any chief in the country?" And all the people answered "Yes!"
The boy then brought his sister out into the middle, leading her by the hand. She was a beautiful girl and well made. When every one had looked at her he said, "Is not my sister worthy to be any chief's daughter?" And the people replied that she was worthy of being any one's daughter, even the king's. Then he called his mother Adiaha, and she came out, looking very beautiful with her best cloth and beads on, and all the people cheered, as they had never seen a finer woman. The boy then asked them, "Is this woman worthy of being the king's wife?" And a shout went up from every one present that she would be a proper wife for the king, and looked as if she would be the mother of plenty of fine healthy sons.
Then the boy pointed out the jealous woman who was sitting next to the king, and told the people his story, how that his mother, who had two skins, was the spider's daughter; how she had married the king, and how the head wife was jealous and had made a bad Ju Ju for the king, which made him forget his wife; how she had persuaded the king to throw himself and his sister into the river, which, as they all knew, had been done, but the Water Ju Ju had saved both of them, and had brought them up.
Then the boy said: "I leave the king and all of you people to judge my case. If I have done wrong, let me be killed on the stone by the Egbos; if, on the other hand, the woman has done evil, then let the Egbos deal with her as you may decide."
When the king knew that the wrestler was his son he was very glad, and told the Egbos to take the jealous woman away, and punish her in accordance with their laws. The Egbos decided that the woman was a witch; so they took her into the forest and tied her up to a stake, and gave her two hundred lashes with a whip made from hippopotamus hide, and then burnt her alive, so that she should not make any more trouble, and her ashes were thrown into the river. The king then embraced his wife and daughter, and told all the people that she, Adiaha, was his proper wife, and would be the queen for the future.
When the palaver was over, Adiaha was dressed in fine clothes and beads, and carried back in state to the palace by the king's servants.
That night the king gave a big feast to all his subjects, and told them how glad he was to get back his beautiful wife whom he had never known properly before, also his son who was stronger than all men, and his fine daughter. The feast continued for a hundred and sixty-six days; and the king made a law that if any woman was found out getting medicine against her husband, she should be killed at once. Then the king built three new compounds, and placed many slaves in them, both men and women. One compound he gave to his wife, another to his son, and the third he gave to his daughter. They all lived together quite happily for some years until the king died, when his son came to the throne and ruled in his stead.