Eating Disorder: Types, Risk Factors, Signs, And Ways To Deal With It
Conversations about waistlines and how much you weigh have become
commonplace today. But if this has become an obsession, it's time to
check for a more serious condition known as an eating disorder. Eating
disorders such as anorexia, bulimia, binge-eating disorders can
seriously impact physical health, emotional wellness, productivity, and
relationships. They can even be life-threatening. Women and adolescent
girls are especially vulnerable to eating disorders. Watching out for
the risk factors and warning signs can help save someone's life.
Our lives revolve around food. We can’t live without it, after all.
And when health is a concern for so many people, the topic of food is
often punctuated with concerns about calories and body weight. But when
weighing yourself becomes an obsession, a more serious condition may be
at play. According to the American Psychiatric Association, an eating
disorder can display itself through a preoccupation with food and
weight.1
Furthermore, statistics state that at least 30 million Americans suffer
from some type of eating disorder. It’s responsible for at least one
death every 62 minutes.2 Clearly, eating disorders are not to be taken casually.
It is a general misconception that an eating disorder is a fad or a
lifestyle choice that people will get over in time. On the contrary, it
is a psychological condition that seriously impacts physical health,
emotional wellness, productivity, and relationships. It can even be
life-threatening, stressing the importance of both prevention and
treatment.3
According to research, women are 3 times more likely to experience anorexia nervosa in their lifetime than men. Similarly, women are 5 times more likely to suffer from bulimia nervosa than men.7 Generally, women with eating disorders usually have an unnatural drive to be thin. This obsession likely stems from distorted perceptions of an “ideal body” and dissatisfaction with their own body weight and shape.8
Unfortunately, media portrayal of the “perfect” body type only reinforces these perceptions in women. This is especially true for adolescent girls. For example, young girls that play with slim dolls are introduced to the distorted perception of the “ideal” body.9 The fact that eating disorders are the third most common chronic illness in adolescent girls can’t be a coincidence.10
Around 35 to 57 percent of adolescent girls use methods like fasting, self-induced vomiting, and crash dieting. They may also take diet pills or laxatives to maintain body weight. Those who are overweight are also more likely to engage in these extreme methods.11
Personality Traits: Many people with eating disorders also have a poor self-image along with feelings of helplessness and worthlessness. Each disorder is also associated with specific traits. For instance, anorexics tend to be perfectionists, while bulimics are usually impulsive.
Social and Cultural Pressures: Cultural norms of body weight and size target both men and women. These assumptions and expectations value people based on their physical appearance. In many countries, extreme slimness is a cultural ideal for women. It’s often a benchmark for physical attractiveness. Unfortunately, this obsession to be thin can drive a number of women to develop eating disorders. Additionally, some sports (like gymnastics) can contribute by emphasizing low weight or certain body image.
Biology: Scientists are exploring the possibility that biological factors such as genes and hormones might influence the development of eating disorders.
Family and Peers: The opinions and attitudes of close family members and friends can severely influence a person’s perspective. Repeatedly teasing an individual about his or her body can be a trigger.
Traumas or Life Changes: Traumas such as rape, abuse, or the death of a loved one can also increase risk of an eating disorder. Stressful events (like starting a new job) or monumental happy situations (such as giving birth) can also lead to disorders. In both cases, the individual’s social role and body image are significantly changed.15 16
Our lives revolve around food. We can’t live without it, after all.
And when health is a concern for so many people, the topic of food is
often punctuated with concerns about calories and body weight. But when
weighing yourself becomes an obsession, a more serious condition may be
at play. According to the American Psychiatric Association, an eating
disorder can display itself through a preoccupation with food and
weight.1
Furthermore, statistics state that at least 30 million Americans suffer
from some type of eating disorder. It’s responsible for at least one
death every 62 minutes.2 Clearly, eating disorders are not to be taken casually.Types Of Eating Disorders
Not all eating disorders are the same. They can vary in symptoms, habits, and severity. According to the American Psychological Association, the following eating disorders are the most common.- Anorexia nervosa: People with anorexia have the perception that they are fat or overweight – even when they are dangerously underweight. Eventually, they become obsessed with weighing themselves. Anorexics also tend to eat very little or consume very few specific foods. This particular disease accounts for the highest mortality rate among all mental disorders.
- Bulimia nervosa: Unlike anorexics, people with bulimia maintain a relatively normal weight. They frequently feel the need to binge-eat, typically consuming unusually large quantities of food. They compensate this habit by forced vomiting, excessive use of laxatives or diuretics, fasting, excessive exercise, or a combination of these behaviors.
- Binge-eating disorder: This is the most common eating disorder in the US. Binge eaters eat more food than the average person, demonstrating a lack of control on what (or how much) they eat. Unlike bulimia nervosa, these episodes are not followed by a purging episode. As a result, people with binge-eating disorder are often overweight or obese.4
- Pica: This disorder is marked by a compulsive habit of eating, chewing, or licking non-food items or foods containing no nutrition. Examples include cotton or clay.
- Night-Eating Syndrome: Characterized by a lack of appetite during the day, people with this disorder have an abnormal appetite at night. This leads to binge eating, excessive eating (hyperphagia), and insomnia.
- Rumination Disorder: Symptoms include repeatedly regurgitating food followed by re-chewing and re-swallowing or spitting it out.
- Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorder (OSFED) and Unspecified Feeding or Eating Disorder (UFED): Individuals with OSFED or UFED do not show clear signs and symptoms of one eating disorder. However, regardless of the variant, the condition causes emotional and psychological distress.5
Are Women More Susceptible To Eating Disorders?
Eating disorders can develop in people of all genders. However, studies show that women are at a much higher risk. In fact, it is estimated that eating disorders in women occur 2.5 times more than they do in men.6According to research, women are 3 times more likely to experience anorexia nervosa in their lifetime than men. Similarly, women are 5 times more likely to suffer from bulimia nervosa than men.7 Generally, women with eating disorders usually have an unnatural drive to be thin. This obsession likely stems from distorted perceptions of an “ideal body” and dissatisfaction with their own body weight and shape.8
Unfortunately, media portrayal of the “perfect” body type only reinforces these perceptions in women. This is especially true for adolescent girls. For example, young girls that play with slim dolls are introduced to the distorted perception of the “ideal” body.9 The fact that eating disorders are the third most common chronic illness in adolescent girls can’t be a coincidence.10
Around 35 to 57 percent of adolescent girls use methods like fasting, self-induced vomiting, and crash dieting. They may also take diet pills or laxatives to maintain body weight. Those who are overweight are also more likely to engage in these extreme methods.11
It’s Not An All Girl Thing
Although data shows that women are more prone to eating disorders, it does not mean that men aren’t susceptible. Specifically, binge eating is more common in men than in women.12 However, due to the cultural assumption that eating disorders are a “girl thing”, men with eating disorders are less likely to acknowledge symptoms. As a result, they tend to seek help too late or not at all.13 As one study found, men with problematic eating behaviors were less likely to seek help than women with similar issues.14Eating Disorder Risk Factors
While many are exposed to the same media-driven idealization of body image, only some develop eating disorders. And though there isn’t a single cause for eating disorders, research has uncovered some common threads. According to the US Office of Women’s Health, the following triggers may contribute to eating disorder development.Personality Traits: Many people with eating disorders also have a poor self-image along with feelings of helplessness and worthlessness. Each disorder is also associated with specific traits. For instance, anorexics tend to be perfectionists, while bulimics are usually impulsive.
Social and Cultural Pressures: Cultural norms of body weight and size target both men and women. These assumptions and expectations value people based on their physical appearance. In many countries, extreme slimness is a cultural ideal for women. It’s often a benchmark for physical attractiveness. Unfortunately, this obsession to be thin can drive a number of women to develop eating disorders. Additionally, some sports (like gymnastics) can contribute by emphasizing low weight or certain body image.
Biology: Scientists are exploring the possibility that biological factors such as genes and hormones might influence the development of eating disorders.
Family and Peers: The opinions and attitudes of close family members and friends can severely influence a person’s perspective. Repeatedly teasing an individual about his or her body can be a trigger.
Traumas or Life Changes: Traumas such as rape, abuse, or the death of a loved one can also increase risk of an eating disorder. Stressful events (like starting a new job) or monumental happy situations (such as giving birth) can also lead to disorders. In both cases, the individual’s social role and body image are significantly changed.15 16
Warning Signs Of Eating Disorders
While there are no clear signs of an eating disorder, organizations like the American Psychiatric Association share that there are red flags to look out for.- Excessive talk and obsession about weight, calories, and fat
- Unhealthy eating habits like constantly choosing low-calorie options, skipping meals, binge eating and then starving, and making excuses to skip meals
- Excessive exercise
- Intense self-criticism and expressing complaints that he or she is fat
- Frequent inspection of his or her body
- Fidgety behavior, mood swings, irritability, and touchiness
- Defensive or upset attitude about eating
- Self-harm, such as cutting or burning flesh17 18
How Can You Help Someone With An Eating Disorder?
People with eating disorders tend to withdraw from social circles. Sometimes, they may put on a normal facade, making it difficult for others to catch on. If you notice even a few symptoms, consider reaching out. Early intervention is the best course of action, making it easier to tackle the problem. Yet, keep in mind that professional help is necessary to tackle an eating disorder. It’s not something that you can just talk a person out of.19 But there are some things you can do. We give a few quick pointers.- If you are a parent and your child is below 18, don’t wait to get professional help. Take your child to a physician and follow their advice. It’s the best thing you can do for your child.
- Take some time to understand eating disorders. There are plenty of resources available both online and offline.
- Be open, truthful, and honest with the person you are trying to help. Tell them your concerns, but don’t preach.
- Don’t manipulate or be manipulated. Avoid tactics like emotional blackmail.
- Be firm but gentle.
- If you find out that your friend has an eating disorder, don’t keep it a secret. Don’t promise that you will keep it quiet, either.
- Remember, expressing concern is your only responsibility. Recovery depends on the patient. Be supportive and don’t blame yourself for their actions.20 21
To become a better spouse.
After slogging feverishly to impress myself and my stakeholders at
work amidst juggling with social commitments and personal interests, I
used to reach home totally depleted. The rest of the hours would be
spent as a shadow of my own good self as I would try to get away with
the barest minimum of responses to the eager advances of my wife, my ten
year old son and baby girl. I who normally take great pains to make
official projects and gatherings fun and warm would transform into an
apathetic passerby at home, the place that actually mattered the most.
My loved ones had learnt to accept my behavior by soothing their pain by
repeating unconvincing excuses- “He is really tired, He is very tense
today, just another bad day at the office”.Thankfully, affairs are much better now. I owe this change to a self help article that I came across during a flight. I don’t remember the name of the author. But let me share his wisdom with you all……..
Here is how it works….
I have downloaded a few of my favorite old songs, especially the soulful nostalgia evoking ones. Once I drive back home and reach the car park, I would ease myself of the seat belt, sit back and switch the CD player on. I would close my eyes and slowly let the haunting music and delicious lyrics take me over … till “that” feeling moves out from my chest to all parts of my body. While I am in the throes of this feeling, I would imagine the situation at home and what each of my loved ones would be doing. Then I would try to creatively come up with ways to make the evening uniquely special for them.
Play cricket with Amaan for a while or cook his favorite soup with him.
Conjure up a story and sing it along the lines of Jehan’s nursery rhymes.
Spend time with my wife, updating her with all the juicy things happening in the world, or spend some time with her on her face book page, enjoying its various hues.
I try my best to make the experiences different and special each time. Once I decide on what to do, I get out of the car and enter my home, to craft a mellifluous script for the rest of the evening along with the ones who matter the most.
Takes me just some old songs and a few minutes and of course the urge to make my relationships better and exceptional.
Please try it…. And enjoy the difference that it creates in your lives
Pebbles Of Providence
"Who do you love more? Your Ma or Pa?" Pat asked Josh.
Rosh and Isha turned to look at their son, suddenly interested in his response and reaction.
The family had come to dine with their friends, and Pat was a friend of the hosts.
Josh looked helplessly at his parents, not knowing what to say.
He did love Isha more, but he knew Rosh would be deeply hurt if he confessed that to him.
He also knew Rosh knew, but to say it out loud bluntly and publicly was another matter altogether. On the other hand, he did not want to lie either.
When Josh didn't answer and the pause became noticeable, Rosh tactfully intervened with a merry remark and the conversation drifted away from the awkward silence.
Driving back from their dinner evening, Rosh was furious.
"Damn!' he fumed. 'Damn her! Asking a child such a terrible question, especially with both parents in earshot to hear his answer."
"Stop being so protective of your children," Isha intervened before he could flare up even more.
"They have to learn to face difficult situations in life, and come up with acceptable solutions. It builds confidence and character. You want them to grow into strong and confident trees, not weak as vines and remain always dependent on you."
"I once read of a farmer in a small Indian village, who had borrowed a large amount from a moneylender. The old and ugly shylock fancied the farmer's beautiful daughter.”
“So when the farmer couldn't keep up his repayments, he proposed to forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his daughter. Both father and daughter were horrified at the proposal.”
“The cunning old fox felt their displeasure. Sensing their reluctance and antagonism, he decided not to give them any more time to contemplate and forced their hand right then and there.”
“The trio had been standing on a pebble strewn path as they talked. He bent down and picked up a few pebbles.”
“Let lady Luck decide the matter,” he began reasonably. “I’ll put one black and one white pebble into this empty bag and let the girl pick one out from the bag."
"If she picks the black pebble, she would marry me and your debt would be forgiven. If she picks the white one, she need not marry me but your debt would still be forgiven.”
“If she refuses to pick a pebble,” he continued, his tone now stern. “I would foreclose on your debt for an immediate repayment now. I have been too lenient on you in the past, but I can wait no longer."
"I do not wish to force a sale of everything you own, but no more dilly dallying and excuses. I’ll have her or I’ll have my money.”
“As he talked while sifting through the pebbles, the vigilant girl saw him drop two black pebbles in a money bag. Unaware that she had seen his sleight of hand, he looked up and asked her to pick a pebble without looking in the bag.”
"Imagine you were that girl?" Isha asked the family as Rosh drove them back home. "What would you have done?"
"I would expose the cheat," said Josh.
"Easier said than done," replied Isha. "He could say he made a genuine mistake as he was too busy talking. Anyway, it would only make the jackal madder. Then he'll cook up more elaborate schemes to get her."
"Like what?" asked Josh.
"Like what wolves and foxes cook up when they are determined to get you. Ask Pa about the little Red Riding Hood or The Wolf And The Lamb."
"Is there any way she could refuse to draw the pebble?" Hosh asked interestedly, before Josh could go chasing after more wolf and fox stories.
"Unlikely, as a condition of the bargain stipulates certain bankruptcy and loss of assets and honour for the farmer in that event. Even after all that, he'd still come after her," replied Isha.
"The girl has no choice but to pick up a pebble then," Rosh was resigned. "She's doomed, but at least it will save her father from his debt and disgrace."
"I'm not sure that would be a happy or graceful solution for anyone either," replied Isha. "Rosh, you can do better than that."
"What did she do Ma?" asked Josh earnestly. "You tell us."
"Oh not so fast!" said Isha. "Ponder awhile. We all end up in tricky situations like these in our lives sometimes. No matter how smart we are, life keeps testing us with its curlies."
"To solve big problems, we must first discipline ourselves, by keeping at solving the little ones we face. There are no shortcuts to glory, you know."
All three boys excitedly offered various possibilities, but soon grew despondent when Isha blew all their suggestions out of the water. Finally, Rosh surrendered. "We give up," he said for everyone.
"The solution lies in thinking outside the box," Isha relented, "or bag in this case. I give you one of the many possible solutions, though it is by no means the only one."
"The girl looked away and put her hand into the bag to draw out a pebble. As she drew her hand out of its tiny mouth, she fumbled and let the pebble fall onto the pebble-strewn path, where it was lost amongst all the other pebbles."
"Oh, clumsy me!" she gasped, then recovered quickly and said, "But never mind, let's look into the bag for the one that is left. That will tell us which pebble I had picked."
"Since the remaining pebble was black, it was clear that the one she had picked must have been the white one."
"Since the moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl crafted glorious victory out of certain doom."
"The moneylender couldn’t be certain he had been tricked, but he sensed that he had a tough adversary should he persist."
Rosh and Isha turned to look at their son, suddenly interested in his response and reaction.
The family had come to dine with their friends, and Pat was a friend of the hosts.
Josh looked helplessly at his parents, not knowing what to say.
He did love Isha more, but he knew Rosh would be deeply hurt if he confessed that to him.He also knew Rosh knew, but to say it out loud bluntly and publicly was another matter altogether. On the other hand, he did not want to lie either.
When Josh didn't answer and the pause became noticeable, Rosh tactfully intervened with a merry remark and the conversation drifted away from the awkward silence.
Driving back from their dinner evening, Rosh was furious.
"Damn!' he fumed. 'Damn her! Asking a child such a terrible question, especially with both parents in earshot to hear his answer."
"Stop being so protective of your children," Isha intervened before he could flare up even more.
"They have to learn to face difficult situations in life, and come up with acceptable solutions. It builds confidence and character. You want them to grow into strong and confident trees, not weak as vines and remain always dependent on you."
"I once read of a farmer in a small Indian village, who had borrowed a large amount from a moneylender. The old and ugly shylock fancied the farmer's beautiful daughter.”
“So when the farmer couldn't keep up his repayments, he proposed to forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his daughter. Both father and daughter were horrified at the proposal.”
“The cunning old fox felt their displeasure. Sensing their reluctance and antagonism, he decided not to give them any more time to contemplate and forced their hand right then and there.”
“The trio had been standing on a pebble strewn path as they talked. He bent down and picked up a few pebbles.”
“Let lady Luck decide the matter,” he began reasonably. “I’ll put one black and one white pebble into this empty bag and let the girl pick one out from the bag."
"If she picks the black pebble, she would marry me and your debt would be forgiven. If she picks the white one, she need not marry me but your debt would still be forgiven.”
“If she refuses to pick a pebble,” he continued, his tone now stern. “I would foreclose on your debt for an immediate repayment now. I have been too lenient on you in the past, but I can wait no longer."
"I do not wish to force a sale of everything you own, but no more dilly dallying and excuses. I’ll have her or I’ll have my money.”
“As he talked while sifting through the pebbles, the vigilant girl saw him drop two black pebbles in a money bag. Unaware that she had seen his sleight of hand, he looked up and asked her to pick a pebble without looking in the bag.”
"Imagine you were that girl?" Isha asked the family as Rosh drove them back home. "What would you have done?"
"I would expose the cheat," said Josh.
"Easier said than done," replied Isha. "He could say he made a genuine mistake as he was too busy talking. Anyway, it would only make the jackal madder. Then he'll cook up more elaborate schemes to get her."
"Like what?" asked Josh.
"Like what wolves and foxes cook up when they are determined to get you. Ask Pa about the little Red Riding Hood or The Wolf And The Lamb."
"Is there any way she could refuse to draw the pebble?" Hosh asked interestedly, before Josh could go chasing after more wolf and fox stories.
"Unlikely, as a condition of the bargain stipulates certain bankruptcy and loss of assets and honour for the farmer in that event. Even after all that, he'd still come after her," replied Isha.
"The girl has no choice but to pick up a pebble then," Rosh was resigned. "She's doomed, but at least it will save her father from his debt and disgrace."
"I'm not sure that would be a happy or graceful solution for anyone either," replied Isha. "Rosh, you can do better than that."
"What did she do Ma?" asked Josh earnestly. "You tell us."
"Oh not so fast!" said Isha. "Ponder awhile. We all end up in tricky situations like these in our lives sometimes. No matter how smart we are, life keeps testing us with its curlies."
"To solve big problems, we must first discipline ourselves, by keeping at solving the little ones we face. There are no shortcuts to glory, you know."
All three boys excitedly offered various possibilities, but soon grew despondent when Isha blew all their suggestions out of the water. Finally, Rosh surrendered. "We give up," he said for everyone.
"The solution lies in thinking outside the box," Isha relented, "or bag in this case. I give you one of the many possible solutions, though it is by no means the only one."
"The girl looked away and put her hand into the bag to draw out a pebble. As she drew her hand out of its tiny mouth, she fumbled and let the pebble fall onto the pebble-strewn path, where it was lost amongst all the other pebbles."
"Oh, clumsy me!" she gasped, then recovered quickly and said, "But never mind, let's look into the bag for the one that is left. That will tell us which pebble I had picked."
"Since the remaining pebble was black, it was clear that the one she had picked must have been the white one."
"Since the moneylender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl crafted glorious victory out of certain doom."
"The moneylender couldn’t be certain he had been tricked, but he sensed that he had a tough adversary should he persist."
Mind Justifies Heart's Desires
When Josh came home from kindy one day, Isha discovered chocolate in his tiffin box.
She was a bit puzzled as she had neither bought it for him nor given him any money to buy it.
When she asked him about it, he was a coy at first but after some
persistent questioning, he told her that he had taken them from another
child's stuff as he really liked them.
Josh twisted and turned, trying to escape her grasp, but it made her angrier. His struggles earned him a few more slaps.
"You can't just take other people's things that you like," she fumed, "They belong to them. They are theirs, not yours. If they gave it to you themselves, fine."
"But if you take them without their knowledge or permission, it is stealing. People who steal are called thieves. And the world punishes theft severely. It puts thieves in jail."
“Do you understand?” she asked him sternly.
He nodded, crying loudly from pain.
When enough tears had been spilt, she left him sobbing with more food for thought, "There will be hell to pay when your father hears of this tonight."
She knew the matter wasn't finished. She would have to report it to Rosh and only God knew what he was going to do. He had been in high temper that morning.
When she told him about the incident with some trepidation that evening at the dinner table, he listened with uncharacteristic calm.
The family ate their dinner in complete silence as they waited patiently for whatever it was that was about to happen. Rosh was thinking as he ate and no one interrupted his train of thought.
"It is good that he did it now rather than later," he finally said to Isha across the table when dinner had finished, "And it is excellent that you were vigilant and caught him straightaway. Now it can be nipped in the bud."
The family waited for more. Rosh turned to Josh and asked him quietly if he understood that he had done wrong.
The little boy nodded.
"Why did you do it?" he asked.
"He didn't eat them at lunch, so he didn't want them. I wanted them, so I took them." Josh said reasonably.
"Beware son," said Rosh, "for the mind justifies what the heart desires."
"Will you do it again?" he asked.
The little boy shook his head.
"Okay, let's not hear ever again that you stole something," Rosh said placidly and asked, "And what will you do with these lollies?"
"I don't know," answered Josh, "Eat them?"
"No," said Rosh, "You can't eat them. And you can't keep them. You will return them tomorrow to their owner and apologize to them."
Josh stared back silently at his father.
"Are you prepared to do that?" Rosh's tone rose half a decibel.
Quickly the child agreed.
"Don't make him do that," Isha argued, "No point in declaring it from rooftops. It will only publicly assassinate his character."
It seemed the practical, reasonable thing to do. He yielded.
Temptation smiled unseen in the darkest corners of his mind. It had triumphed again.
She was a bit puzzled as she had neither bought it for him nor given him any money to buy it.
When she asked him about it, he was a coy at first but after some
persistent questioning, he told her that he had taken them from another
child's stuff as he really liked them.Josh twisted and turned, trying to escape her grasp, but it made her angrier. His struggles earned him a few more slaps.
"You can't just take other people's things that you like," she fumed, "They belong to them. They are theirs, not yours. If they gave it to you themselves, fine."
"But if you take them without their knowledge or permission, it is stealing. People who steal are called thieves. And the world punishes theft severely. It puts thieves in jail."
“Do you understand?” she asked him sternly.
He nodded, crying loudly from pain.
When enough tears had been spilt, she left him sobbing with more food for thought, "There will be hell to pay when your father hears of this tonight."
She knew the matter wasn't finished. She would have to report it to Rosh and only God knew what he was going to do. He had been in high temper that morning.
When she told him about the incident with some trepidation that evening at the dinner table, he listened with uncharacteristic calm.
The family ate their dinner in complete silence as they waited patiently for whatever it was that was about to happen. Rosh was thinking as he ate and no one interrupted his train of thought.
"It is good that he did it now rather than later," he finally said to Isha across the table when dinner had finished, "And it is excellent that you were vigilant and caught him straightaway. Now it can be nipped in the bud."
The family waited for more. Rosh turned to Josh and asked him quietly if he understood that he had done wrong.
The little boy nodded.
"Why did you do it?" he asked.
"He didn't eat them at lunch, so he didn't want them. I wanted them, so I took them." Josh said reasonably.
"Beware son," said Rosh, "for the mind justifies what the heart desires."
"Will you do it again?" he asked.
The little boy shook his head.
"Okay, let's not hear ever again that you stole something," Rosh said placidly and asked, "And what will you do with these lollies?"
"I don't know," answered Josh, "Eat them?"
"No," said Rosh, "You can't eat them. And you can't keep them. You will return them tomorrow to their owner and apologize to them."
Josh stared back silently at his father.
"Are you prepared to do that?" Rosh's tone rose half a decibel.
Quickly the child agreed.
"Don't make him do that," Isha argued, "No point in declaring it from rooftops. It will only publicly assassinate his character."
It seemed the practical, reasonable thing to do. He yielded.
Temptation smiled unseen in the darkest corners of his mind. It had triumphed again.
The Parable of the Virgins 2
Matthew 25
1“Then the kingdom of heaven will be
comparable to ten virgins, who took their lamps and went out to meet the
bridegroom. 2“Five of them were foolish, and five were prudent. 3“For
when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, 4but the
prudent took oil in flasks along with their lamps.
5“Now while
the bridegroom was delaying, they all got drowsy and began to sleep.
6“But at midnight there was a shout, ‘Behold, the bridegroom! Come out
to meet him.’ 7“Then all those virgins rose and trimmed their lamps.
8“The foolish said to the prudent, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our
lamps are going out.’ 9“But the prudent answered, ‘No, there will not be
enough for us and you too; go instead to the dealers and buy some for
yourselves.’
10“And while they were going away to make the
purchase, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him
to the wedding feast; and the door was shut.
11“Later the other
virgins also came, saying, ‘Lord, lord, open up for us.’ 12“But he
answered, ‘Truly I say to you, I do not know you.’ 13“Be on the alert
then, for you do not know the day nor the hour.
-------------------------------------
Revelation
3 describes the church of Philadelphia and the church of Laodicea: the
last two of the seven churches. God promised the church of Philadelphia
that because they had been faithful to God's Word, they would be spared
the hour of Trial that was to come on the whole earth.
But the
final church, Laodicea, is a disappointment to the Lord Jesus.
Apparently Laodicea will need to go through the Tribulation, because God
says they are selfish, materialistic and indifferent to the needs of
others. God tells Laodicea that they are spiritually blind. It is
distressing to the Lord that nothing MOVES them.
These two
churches could represent the two groups of women in the parable, and
might explain even further why God rejected the five foolish virgins.
These stories are warnings that we need to nurture obedience and
compassion, in order to keep ourselves spiritually alive and vital until
the Lord returns.
Kingdom Of Heaven
The next morning had been very busy. Rosh’s CFD portfolios had been
liquidated by his CFD provider. The phone never stopped ringing all
morning. More margin calls on their Share Portfolios. The world markets
had taken another steep dive last night.
The castle that had taken 15 years to build was falling down around them like a house of cards. Debt taken for these investments was turning into a Frankenstein monster.
She answered the emails as best she could, and phoned the banks. With his usual foresight, he had given her Enduring Power of Attorney over his accounts, so things went as smoothly as they could under the circumstances. Then she returned to the hospital with the kids to check up on Rosh again.
He was still sleeping. The doctor took Isha aside and discussed his case. “There will be trauma. And Depression. You will need to be patient with him. He will need all the love and care he can get. Try and keep him busy, anything to occupy his time, body and mind, but nothing too strenuous or exciting. The chances of a relapse or repeat incident are high. He lives, but barely,” the doctor advised before leaving.
She looked at Rosh as she sat beside him silently for a very long time.
“What will he do now Ma?” Josh asked.
“He’ll think of something,” she asserted, not feeling the same confidence that reflected in her reply to her son. She knew that further adverse financial developments of this morning will almost certainly rule out their return to a normal life. Hosh sensed it and she knew that he knew.
“Let him do his social project Ma. His focus will consume him and in so doing, he will be strong again.” Hosh suggested, answering the mental questions that tormented her.
Rosh had always yearned to do something meaningful in his life, even when he was extremely busy running their three businesses.
He had been prepared to walk away from his profession - to pursue spiritual fulfilment rather than just chase after endless acquisition of money. But money had been necessary. It always has been, it always will be.
‘Maybe it’s time,’ she thought, ‘maybe that’s the way. There will be no money, but he will be happier and have a sense of fulfilment. Isn’t that the goal of life anyway? He will achieve Jesus’ Kingdom of Heaven.’
Rosh had found it already but had walked away because he believed he could not serve the community till he was financially strong and had completed his commitments to his family. And now there was no money and the financial security of their family was hopelessly jeopardised.
He hadn’t been ready to pay the price then, but the price had been paid for him to begin his journey. He could have his field, if she allowed it. She noticed suddenly that he was awake and had been gazing at her silently.
“Come back to me quickly. You can have your Kingdom of Heaven,” she impulsively spoke her thoughts aloud to him. He winced and thought a little. Then answered with great sadness, “But I can’t go on that journey anymore. I have nothing left to pay the fare.”
Later that day, Josh asked his brother again what the brief conversation between their parents had meant. Thoughtfully, Hosh answered, “It is another parable told by Jesus, I think. That of the Hidden Treasure. It is in the New Testament, Matthew 13:44. Jesus is reported to have said that the Kingdom of Heaven was like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then he happily sold all that he had to buy that field."
When Josh stared back at him blankly, Hosh explained, “We can ask mother tonight what they meant. But I can try and guess. Pa has always had a kind of dream that he do something meaningful with his life to serve humanity. Ma has always felt that he serves the community and country through what he does already."
"But Pa wanted to do something bigger, something that had no profit motive. This is what Ma offered him today if he gets well soon. A goal for him, which he thinks would be worth fighting for.”
“Doesn’t she think, we are worth fighting for?” interrupted Josh.
“We sure are. But who can say what they are going through or thinking in their current disturbed state of mind? They are fighting. For life. For things that are worth fighting for. Give them time. And love. And understanding.”
“But I already do.” Josh answered as he walked away angrily.
The castle that had taken 15 years to build was falling down around them like a house of cards. Debt taken for these investments was turning into a Frankenstein monster.
She answered the emails as best she could, and phoned the banks. With his usual foresight, he had given her Enduring Power of Attorney over his accounts, so things went as smoothly as they could under the circumstances. Then she returned to the hospital with the kids to check up on Rosh again.
He was still sleeping. The doctor took Isha aside and discussed his case. “There will be trauma. And Depression. You will need to be patient with him. He will need all the love and care he can get. Try and keep him busy, anything to occupy his time, body and mind, but nothing too strenuous or exciting. The chances of a relapse or repeat incident are high. He lives, but barely,” the doctor advised before leaving.
She looked at Rosh as she sat beside him silently for a very long time.
“What will he do now Ma?” Josh asked.
“He’ll think of something,” she asserted, not feeling the same confidence that reflected in her reply to her son. She knew that further adverse financial developments of this morning will almost certainly rule out their return to a normal life. Hosh sensed it and she knew that he knew.
“Let him do his social project Ma. His focus will consume him and in so doing, he will be strong again.” Hosh suggested, answering the mental questions that tormented her.
Rosh had always yearned to do something meaningful in his life, even when he was extremely busy running their three businesses.
He had been prepared to walk away from his profession - to pursue spiritual fulfilment rather than just chase after endless acquisition of money. But money had been necessary. It always has been, it always will be.
‘Maybe it’s time,’ she thought, ‘maybe that’s the way. There will be no money, but he will be happier and have a sense of fulfilment. Isn’t that the goal of life anyway? He will achieve Jesus’ Kingdom of Heaven.’
Rosh had found it already but had walked away because he believed he could not serve the community till he was financially strong and had completed his commitments to his family. And now there was no money and the financial security of their family was hopelessly jeopardised.
He hadn’t been ready to pay the price then, but the price had been paid for him to begin his journey. He could have his field, if she allowed it. She noticed suddenly that he was awake and had been gazing at her silently.
“Come back to me quickly. You can have your Kingdom of Heaven,” she impulsively spoke her thoughts aloud to him. He winced and thought a little. Then answered with great sadness, “But I can’t go on that journey anymore. I have nothing left to pay the fare.”
Later that day, Josh asked his brother again what the brief conversation between their parents had meant. Thoughtfully, Hosh answered, “It is another parable told by Jesus, I think. That of the Hidden Treasure. It is in the New Testament, Matthew 13:44. Jesus is reported to have said that the Kingdom of Heaven was like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then he happily sold all that he had to buy that field."
When Josh stared back at him blankly, Hosh explained, “We can ask mother tonight what they meant. But I can try and guess. Pa has always had a kind of dream that he do something meaningful with his life to serve humanity. Ma has always felt that he serves the community and country through what he does already."
"But Pa wanted to do something bigger, something that had no profit motive. This is what Ma offered him today if he gets well soon. A goal for him, which he thinks would be worth fighting for.”
“Doesn’t she think, we are worth fighting for?” interrupted Josh.
“We sure are. But who can say what they are going through or thinking in their current disturbed state of mind? They are fighting. For life. For things that are worth fighting for. Give them time. And love. And understanding.”
“But I already do.” Josh answered as he walked away angrily.
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