Dumbest Kid?

You can cook, Pa," said Hosh, "why don't you?"
"Because I don't want Ma to think I can," answered Rosh, "A woman wants to know that her man is dependent on her. Playing dumb and dependent suits us both."
 But a relationship needs integrity," objected Hosh, "for its survival and stability."
"Oh, there is enough honesty amongst us," Rosh waived him off, "but marriage needs more than just honesty. It needs interdependence."
"She doesn't do tax returns, I don't cook. It suits our temperaments too. She likes cooking, I like eating. She won't do accounting, I won't do dishes."
"Marriage needs give and take, and not just in the division of Labour. He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose."
"When people live as intimately together as couples do, there aren't many secrets left. Distance creates mystique, familiarity breeds contempt. Love loses its glamour when you are under the same sheets, smelling each other's farts."
"Over time, partners do complain. And fight. About something. It's inevitable. Better to give your partner something to moan about and change, that you don't really mind changing. Something that you can live with being criticized, rather than bursting over and trying to fix something that ain't really broken."
"The trick is to focus on complementing each other, loving each other inspite of all the faults. Relationships need the courage to change the things one can. But one also needs the serenity to accept the things one cannot change. And the wisdom to know the difference."
"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain. And most fools do. A tongue weighs so little, yet few can hold it. That is why marriages sour."
"Why would partners want to find fault if none exists," asked Hosh, "It makes no sense."
"It comes from boredom," answered Rosh, "There is an urge to change your partner, make them better. Women buy shoes, not because the old ones have worn out, but because they are bored with them."
"Couples tire from each other too. They want change. Managed change nurtures relationships, makes them stronger. Change keeps things fresh."
"No change would be needed, if things were perfect. But they are not. Perfection in a person is intolerable anyway, even if such a thing were possible. Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day. Wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit."
"No man is as clever as his mother thinks he is, or as dumb as his mother-in-law thinks he is. Even if you aren't a fool, there is profit in keeping up pretenses. And laughing with others at your foolishnesses. It makes your partner feel better. And the payback is great."
"You can fool all the people some of the time, Pa," objected Hosh, "some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time."
"Undoubtedly," Rosh agreed, "and your Ma is no fool. I am not fooling her. Just agreeing with her that I do have imperfections, like not being a good cook. And it is no lie. When she cooks, nothing is left of the meal. When I cook, I'm the only one laboring away at it. You know that."
"So it doesn't hurt to act dumb. Or concede that one is dumb. At least in matters where one doesn't mind being considered dumb. I don't mind if people think I'm a fool. As long as they don't ever talk to me as if they think I am one. But in matters of cooking, I don't even mind that, cos I don't care about it that much."
"But Pa, Ma is smarter than that," Hosh argued, "Smart people don't think others are stupid."
"There are no smart people or stupid people," said Rosh, "just people being smart or being stupid. Letting others have an upper hand is great for building up their confidence. Very gratifying for their ego."
"It is great flattery. Even if they see through it, they'll still love you for it. Letting others think they are smarter than you has distinct advantages."
"Like what?" asked Hosh.
"A young boy entered a barber shop," said Rosh, "Seeing him enter, the barber whispered to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. He has no concept of value, just of quantity. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber put a dollar in one hand and two quarters in the other, then called the boy over and asked, "Which do you want, son?"
The boy took the quarters and left.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, as the customer was leaving the barber shop, he saw that boy coming out of the nearby ice cream store.
"Hey son!" he called out and walked over to him, "Why did you take the two quarters instead of a whole dollar?"
The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"

What Is Mine?

What is mine? What is yours? Is it borrowed wealth or real capital?

What is this world, this life? These possessions, these relationships?

 Insightful Sufi story

“I will not give my highlighters to Hosh," Josh cried with frustration. "They are mine!”
“And I don’t want to listen to you either, Pa, cos I know what you’ll say.”
Tears rolled down his cheeks.
Rosh looked at him and felt great sadness. He lifted him up in his lap. He hugged and kissed him, and when he had finally stopped sobbing, began to whisper in his son’s ear:
“You don’t have to give Hosh any of your things, if you don’t want to. I will not force you to do that."
"Your things are yours. They are not his. They are not mine either, even though I bought them for you."
"They became yours, once I gave them to you. You can do with them as you please. But, let me tell you a Sufi story.”
In the wilderness, in a small one-room hut, there once lived a Sufi Fakir with his wife.
One night, it rained heavily. As the couple were preparing to turn off their lamp and retire for the night, there was a knock on their door. The wife was afraid.
"Must be a thief," she opined fearfully, "who has come to rob us in the middle of this terrible night."
The Fakir smiled. "Only what belongs to us can be stolen," he said. "Nothing does. Open the door!"
The wife was puzzled, as everything they had in their hut belonged to them. But she obeyed anyway, and opened the door. It was a stranger, dripping with water.
"Will you shelter me for the night?" he asked her. "It is pouring outside."
The fakir beckoned him in.
"But there is hardly space," his wife objected. "We have barely room to sleep."
"Let him in," the fakir replied. "We will all sit."
So, the stranger was allowed in. Two more men arrived later, seeking refuge from the rain outside, which relentlessly battered the earth that night. They were let in too. The space inside the small hut became crowded.
Then, there was braying heard outside the door. The fakir asked his wife to open the door, and let the donkey in.
"But there is hardly space," the guests objected.
"Let him in," the fakir smiled. "We can all stand!"
So, the donkey was allowed in.
"If I were the fakir," Josh interjected, "I wouldn't have allowed the donkey in. People ok, but donkey no!"
“What's wrong with donkeys, son?" asked Rosh. "Aren’t they also a creation of God? Is being different, a disqualification? Would you deny refuge to a different looking human too, then? Discrimination, such as this, eventually leads humanity to the Holocaust, the Partitions, the Genocides."
"Did you know that the British Clubs in India had signboards at the door saying, ‘Dogs and Indians not allowed’? Did you know that the Whites created two roads in Africa – one for the Whites, and the other for the rest to travel on?"
"And they weren't the only ones in history, to divide and rule. Hindus abused the Varn (caste) system for centuries! Humankind ended up paying a big price, whenever our differences led us to mutual intolerance.”
“Who would you rather be? The fakir, who is inclusive and accommodating. Who creates a world in which all can co-exist. Or, the guest with the ‘Mine and Thine’ mentality? Who creates barriers, and is then afraid of the other."
"Don’t you see the irony? We are all guests here. And yet, we begin to regard our refuge as our fief. The fakir gave them shelter. It was a gift, a temporary thing until the night ended. But they came to regard it as their domain. And felt disturbed, when they had to share their gift with others."
“How quickly we come to regard our possessions as our right, and our privilege? How quickly we forget, that our role was to 'look after the whole Earth, that was given to us by the Lord,' and perceive ourselves to be master and conqueror of Nature, Earth and Elements."
"What is mine? What is yours? Is it borrowed wealth or real capital? How confidently we live Appearances as Reality! What is Reality? Who are we? What are this world, this life, these possessions, and these relationships? What is real, and what is mere appearance?”
“One of these days, I will tell you about the great Hindu scholar Shankar - who helped us understand the Vedic answers to these questions. One of these days, I will tell you about the great Indian scholar Nagarjun - who helped us understand the Buddhist answers to these questions."
"I will tell you about the answers in the sacred writings of Israel, Confucius and Lao-Tze, as also in the Quraan, the Bible and the Avesta; the teachings of the Greeks, Arabs and Africans... One day, when you want to know these answers, I will tell them to you ..."

Why Do We Seek?

“We go through life thinking we are the chariots," Rosh began speaking as father and son began this ritualistic daily walk.
"The composition of our limbs, and experiences and memories - that senses and acts and thinks and feels."

 But where is the me that I identify with in any of these?"
"Yesterday I told you the story of the Bhikshu who helped the King in his quest to understand who he really was."
"Did that help you discover who you really were? Where is the chariot? That is the question."
"Vedas, the oldest extant literature of humankind, have answered this question. That answer is 'That thou art'. Tatvam Asi."
Seeing Josh’s blank face, Rosh explained, "The key thoughts of Upanishads are:

• Aham Brahmasmi. Which means I am Brahm.
• Tad Ekam. Which means That is One.
• Aham Idam. Which means I am It.
• Tatvam asi. Which means That is You.
• So Aham. That is I.”

“We grow up believing in duality. I am me, and you are you. That makes two. When there are two, conflict arises. This is mine, this is thine. This line of thinking naturally extends to including God."
"I am me, God is God. I am me, Nature is Nature. So this way of thinking always makes two. Me and the rest. This line of thinking leads to war, to grief, to envy, to race.”
“The proliferation of these sayings in Upanishads shows Vedas believe in Monism, rather than dualism. This is why many scholars believe that Upanishads teach Advait - which means primal unity. Tat tvam Asi. That art thou."
"Chandogya (C., 6.3.2-) Upanishad says: ‘Atma is the only reality, everything else is just different forms and names’. Vedas also say that deep inside us, we already know who we are. Yet why do we forget it? Why do we seek it? Why is this question important anyway?”
Pope John Paul II once wrote in his Encyclical:
“… A cursory glance at ancient history shows clearly how in different parts of the world, with their different cultures, there arise at the same time the fundamental questions which pervade human life: Who am I? Where have I come from and where am I going? Why is there evil? What is there after this life?"
"These are the questions which we find in the sacred writings of Israel, as also in the Veda and the Avesta; we find them in the writings of Confucius and Lao-Tze, and in the preaching of Tirthankara and Buddha; they appear in the poetry of Homer and in the tragedies of Euripides and Sophocles, as they do in the philosophical writings of Plato and Aristotle."
"They are questions, which have their common source in the quest for meaning, which has always compelled the human heart. In fact, the answer given to these questions decides the direction which people seek to give to their lives…”.
“Do you begin to see now?” asked Rosh.
Josh walked quietly for a few moments, then replied, “I can see why it is important to know, Pa. What we do in life, what choices we make in life comes from our perception of who we are. So it is important to know who we are.”
"Aye," Rosh sighed, "You must know yourself. You are worth knowing. Perhaps, more than anything else."
'There is hope', he thought, as the duo walked into the bush discussing life and how one could live life.
But the crows perched atop the trees disagreed.
"Oye!" one said.
"Aow, Haw, How?" the others cawed.

Man is the Head but Woman is the Neck.wmv

5 Reasons Why You Should Stop Eating Meat

There was a time in human history when we were hunters and gatherers. Food was hard to come by during winters and droughts mak us rely on hunting animals to feed and stay alive. While agriculture has made sure that we don’t have to go hunting for our food anymore, animals still continue to be a large part of our diet. You might dismiss veganism as a fad but the fact is that several scientific studies and research papers have proved that a plant-based diet is more conducive to human health. If you’re wondering what the fuss is all about, here are 5 reasons why you should consider becoming a vegetarian.

1. To Do Your Bit For The Environment

 Animal farming is one of the biggest threats to the environment. Billions of animals are raised across the world only for the purpose of human consumption. The consumption of meat, especially beef, has a significant impact on the environment. The amount of grain and land used to produce a pound of beef, as well as the volume of methane the animals produce, contribute to the destruction of the forests for farming and an increase in greenhouse gases. Water usage is also an aspect to consider. An estimated 2,000 gallons of water are needed to produce just one pound of beef in the Unites States.

 

2. To Lower Your Chances Of Getting Type 2 Diabetes

 More than 29 million people in the United States have diabetes and approximately 40 percent of the population is pre-diabetic. Research has shown that meat consumption is consistently associated with the risk of Type 2 diabetes.¹ Research also found that sticking to a vegetarian diet protects you against the risk of type 2 diabetes caused by lifestyle.² There are several studies which point to the fact that there is a strong link between consuming aminal protein and diabetes. By going green, you can easily avert this risk and shift to a healthier lifestyle.

 

3. To Eat Healthy Proteins

 It’s a common notion that a vegetarian diet does not provide your body with the required amount of protein. While it is true that a diet that’s deficient in protein can be harmful, having excess protein is also not good for your body. Americans who are omnivores consume 1.5 times more than the optimal amount of protein and most of this is from animal sources. Your body stores the excess calories from protein as body fat which contributes to obesity, heart disease, inflammation, and cancer. Plant proteins, however, contribute towards preventing chronic disease. When you’re on a plant-based diet, if you are meeting your daily calorie requirement, you will have all the protein that you need.

 

4. To Reduce Body Inflammation

 Studies have found that consuming meat can increase the chances of inflammation which could be the cause for several long- and short-term diseases. Chronic inflammation could cause strokes, diabetes, heart attacks, and atherosclerosis. Plant-based diets can naturally reduce inflammation levels in your body. A protein known as C-reactive protein is used as an indicator of inflammation in the body. Researchers found that the presence of this protein was significantly lower in people who were on vegan diets. ³

 

5. To Live A Life Of Compassion

 

As humans, we are at the top of the food chain but that does not mean that other life on this planet does not deserve the chance to live with dignity. No matter how much we convince ourselves that animals slaughtered for our consumption are being killed “humanely”, the fact is that we are rearing these animals in confined spaces, feeding them food that’s designed to make them grow unusually fast, and killing them without mercy. The fact is that no animal deserves to be killed to satiate the human craving for meat. When you give up eating all forms of meat, you also making a choice to live a life of compassion.
Science has proved enough number of times that humans do not need animal meat to live healthy and normal lives. In fact, the human digestive system is essentially designed to ingest plant foods rather than foods from animal sources. By shifting to a plant-based diet, you’re not only doing your body a favor but also making a conscious choice to live in harmony with the environment, just like all the other creatures on the planet do.

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Eating Disorder: Types, Risk Factors, Signs, And Ways To Deal With It

Conversations about waistlines and how much you weigh have become commonplace today. But if this has become an obsession, it's time to check for a more serious condition known as an eating disorder. Eating disorders such as anorexia, bulimia, binge-eating disorders can seriously impact physical health, emotional wellness, productivity, and relationships. They can even be life-threatening. Women and adolescent girls are especially vulnerable to eating disorders. Watching out for the risk factors and warning signs can help save someone's life.

Our lives revolve around food. We can’t live without it, after all. And when health is a concern for so many people, the topic of food is often punctuated with concerns about calories and body weight. But when weighing yourself becomes an obsession, a more serious condition may be at play. According to the American Psychiatric Association, an eating disorder can display itself through a preoccupation with food and weight.¹ Furthermore, statistics state that at least 30 million Americans suffer from some type of eating disorder. It’s responsible for at least one death every 62 minutes.² Clearly, eating disorders are not to be taken casually.

It is a general misconception that an eating disorder is a fad or a lifestyle choice that people will get over in time. On the contrary, it is a psychological condition that seriously impacts physical health, emotional wellness, productivity, and relationships. It can even be life-threatening, stressing the importance of both prevention and treatment.³

Types Of Eating Disorders

Not all eating disorders are the same. They can vary in symptoms, habits, and severity. According to the American Psychological Association, the following eating disorders are the most common.

• Anorexia nervosa: People with anorexia have the perception that they are fat or overweight – even when they are dangerously underweight. Eventually, they become obsessed with weighing themselves. Anorexics also tend to eat very little or consume very few specific foods. This particular disease accounts for the highest mortality rate among all mental disorders.
• Bulimia nervosa: Unlike anorexics, people with bulimia maintain a relatively normal weight. They frequently feel the need to binge-eat, typically consuming unusually large quantities of food. They compensate this habit by forced vomiting, excessive use of laxatives or diuretics, fasting, excessive exercise, or a combination of these behaviors.
• Binge-eating disorder: This is the most common eating disorder in the US. Binge eaters eat more food than the average person, demonstrating a lack of control on what (or how much) they eat. Unlike bulimia nervosa, these episodes are not followed by a purging episode. As a result, people with binge-eating disorder are often overweight or obese.⁴

There are many eating disorders on the spectrum, though. The following types are less common.

• Pica: This disorder is marked by a compulsive habit of eating, chewing, or licking non-food items or foods containing no nutrition. Examples include cotton or clay.
• Night-Eating Syndrome: Characterized by a lack of appetite during the day, people with this disorder have an abnormal appetite at night. This leads to binge eating, excessive eating (hyperphagia), and insomnia.
• Rumination Disorder: Symptoms include repeatedly regurgitating food followed by re-chewing and re-swallowing or spitting it out.
• Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorder (OSFED) and Unspecified Feeding or Eating Disorder (UFED): Individuals with OSFED or UFED do not show clear signs and symptoms of one eating disorder. However, regardless of the variant, the condition causes emotional and psychological distress.⁵

Are Women More Susceptible To Eating Disorders?

Eating disorders can develop in people of all genders. However, studies show that women are at a much higher risk. In fact, it is estimated that eating disorders in women occur 2.5 times more than they do in men.⁶
According to research, women are 3 times more likely to experience anorexia nervosa in their lifetime than men. Similarly, women are 5 times more likely to suffer from bulimia nervosa than men.⁷ Generally, women with eating disorders usually have an unnatural drive to be thin. This obsession likely stems from distorted perceptions of an “ideal body” and dissatisfaction with their own body weight and shape.⁸
Unfortunately, media portrayal of the “perfect” body type only reinforces these perceptions in women. This is especially true for adolescent girls. For example, young girls that play with slim dolls are introduced to the distorted perception of the “ideal” body.⁹ The fact that eating disorders are the third most common chronic illness in adolescent girls can’t be a coincidence.¹⁰
Around 35 to 57 percent of adolescent girls use methods like fasting, self-induced vomiting, and crash dieting. They may also take diet pills or laxatives to maintain body weight. Those who are overweight are also more likely to engage in these extreme methods.¹¹

It’s Not An All Girl Thing

Although data shows that women are more prone to eating disorders, it does not mean that men aren’t susceptible. Specifically, binge eating is more common in men than in women.¹² However, due to the cultural assumption that eating disorders are a “girl thing”, men with eating disorders are less likely to acknowledge symptoms. As a result, they tend to seek help too late or not at all.¹³ As one study found, men with problematic eating behaviors were less likely to seek help than women with similar issues.¹⁴

Eating Disorder Risk Factors

While many are exposed to the same media-driven idealization of body image, only some develop eating disorders. And though there isn’t a single cause for eating disorders, research has uncovered some common threads. According to the US Office of Women’s Health, the following triggers may contribute to eating disorder development.
Personality Traits: Many people with eating disorders also have a poor self-image along with feelings of helplessness and worthlessness. Each disorder is also associated with specific traits. For instance, anorexics tend to be perfectionists, while bulimics are usually impulsive.
Social and Cultural Pressures: Cultural norms of body weight and size target both men and women. These assumptions and expectations value people based on their physical appearance. In many countries, extreme slimness is a cultural ideal for women. It’s often a benchmark for physical attractiveness. Unfortunately, this obsession to be thin can drive a number of women to develop eating disorders. Additionally, some sports (like gymnastics) can contribute by emphasizing low weight or certain body image.
Biology: Scientists are exploring the possibility that biological factors such as genes and hormones might influence the development of eating disorders.
Family and Peers: The opinions and attitudes of close family members and friends can severely influence a person’s perspective. Repeatedly teasing an individual about his or her body can be a trigger.
Traumas or Life Changes: Traumas such as rape, abuse, or the death of a loved one can also increase risk of an eating disorder. Stressful events (like starting a new job) or monumental happy situations (such as giving birth) can also lead to disorders. In both cases, the individual’s social role and body image are significantly changed.^{15 16}

Warning Signs Of Eating Disorders

While there are no clear signs of an eating disorder, organizations like the American Psychiatric Association share that there are red flags to look out for.

• Excessive talk and obsession about weight, calories, and fat
• Unhealthy eating habits like constantly choosing low-calorie options, skipping meals, binge eating and then starving, and making excuses to skip meals
• Excessive exercise
• Intense self-criticism and expressing complaints that he or she is fat
• Frequent inspection of his or her body
• Fidgety behavior, mood swings, irritability, and touchiness
• Defensive or upset attitude about eating
• Self-harm, such as cutting or burning flesh^{17 18}

How Can You Help Someone With An Eating Disorder?

People with eating disorders tend to withdraw from social circles. Sometimes, they may put on a normal facade, making it difficult for others to catch on. If you notice even a few symptoms, consider reaching out. Early intervention is the best course of action, making it easier to tackle the problem. Yet, keep in mind that professional help is necessary to tackle an eating disorder. It’s not something that you can just talk a person out of.¹⁹ But there are some things you can do. We give a few quick pointers.

• If you are a parent and your child is below 18, don’t wait to get professional help. Take your child to a physician and follow their advice. It’s the best thing you can do for your child.
• Take some time to understand eating disorders. There are plenty of resources available both online and offline.
• Be open, truthful, and honest with the person you are trying to help. Tell them your concerns, but don’t preach.
• Don’t manipulate or be manipulated. Avoid tactics like emotional blackmail.
• Be firm but gentle.
• If you find out that your friend has an eating disorder, don’t keep it a secret. Don’t promise that you will keep it quiet, either.
• Remember, expressing concern is your only responsibility. Recovery depends on the patient. Be supportive and don’t blame yourself for their actions.^{20 21}
•  

• All About Eating Disorder

  • Responsible factors: Social, cultural, and peer pressure, traumas, biology
  • Obsession about weight, excessive workouts, intense self-criticism, unhealthy eating habits are few of the signs
  • Get help from a physician and follow his guidelines